Lining Up For Abundance or an "Oh Well" Life

I seem to have stopped sleeping. Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, with all thy mind and with all thy soul. I am leaning on that these days, but anxiety sems to be winning out...another zanax night.

We did find and purchase our bank owned home, but it took all of our retirement account to do it. Now we are down to fumes in the money department and neither my huband or I know how it's going to all play out. We have sold alot of our possesions, so the ebay thing has kinda dried up. I'll bet alot of people are a bit sleepless these days.

Our big challenge right now is to get a working air conditioner into the new house. It's really a necessity here in FL in the summer time. People keep trying to scam us, want to sell us a new unit instead of fixing the old one. One person actually wanted us to steal a unit from an abandoned house nearby so he could install it. The world has gone crazy but we can't continue to support 2 homes.

I said to my husband recently that it's turning into an "oh well" life these days. The starter doesn't work on the Sebring. "Oh well", we'll park it and use the mini van. The wipers died on the mini van. "Oh well" we won't drive in the rain. The list goes on.

Need a small miracle here and I have to remember that ALL things are possible with God. I live in abundance and that abundance has no end, no conditions. I am surrounded by a loving (and yes, stressed) family. But how grateful I am for them and all that we have. We will perservere. What are the alternatives?

We all live in abundance. Blessings to all who are struggling right now. And blessings to the creatures of the Gulf Coast. I hold you all in my prayers.

Praying For A Home

Leaving your dream home is a really hard thing to do. Especially when you have very limited funds for buying the next one. We have cashed out our retirement fund so that we will have a place to live. If we can snag a bank owned home it will be a real accomplishment. The investors are on them like flies, but it is what we can afford, so we press on. It is a full time job for two people. We talk to realtors, we look at houses on line, we trek from town to town trying to find a house in our price range that we can fit all of our stuff of 25 years into.

I have visions of my new home that I am hunting for. I pray as I am going to sleep to be guided to the right one. I had prayed recently at St. Michael's Shrine with my hand on a cross above an altar. That cross was the 1st thing I saw as I prayed, then I saw white floor tile with a pattern on it, oranges, and finally 2 cute mice. When I told my husband he said "great, our new home has a mouse problem." That house sold before we could get our bid in on it. It had patterned tile in the kitchen and orange trees in the back yard. The next night I saw white floor tile and arched doorways. The next morning we saw a house online that fit the description, just out of our price range, or so it seems.

"Follow your heart" the intuitve told me during a recent reading when I showed her a picture of a house that was a good buy, but we felt nothing for it. "Don't try and force it" she said. "If you can feel home and peace within you, you have a better chance of being guided to the right place." That just might work if I can keep stress and anxiety at bay. She also said that we would find our house in 2 to 4 weeks and it would be north of where we live now.

I had another intuitive reading months ago when the intuitive told me that we would find a house with a wooded drive and that we would know it when we saw it. I also had another intuitive online tell me to live where ever we choose as long as it is near water.

As we are making these decisions, our 22 year old daughter is planning her move back home after being gone for a year. A whirlwind of change is guiding our lives and I am trying to go with the flow. It is too painful to fight it. I tried. I can only believe that we are being led to a new life, a good place where we can reunite as a family once again, settle in and grow our lives. I am excited about the future...and it will come, but right now the roulette wheel is spinning and I'm ready to land.

Angels Come In All Shapes and Sizes

When I open my bedroom door in the morning, part of my family is in a pile on the other side, waiting to greet me. My 2 corgi dogs and my tiger cat swirl around my legs oozing love my way. They help me start my day with a smile. When I most need a hug and kiss they are happpy to oblige and if thay ever catch me crying, they snuggle close to try and soothe my soul. These are my angels in small furry packages. They give me love unconditionally and are the best therapists in the world. At the other end of the house I find my husband, my best friend and soulmate, the man who, when I danced with him for the first time, I felt like I had come home after a long journey. He is my angel in a larger package. He gives me love, keeps me sane and tolerates my imperfections. And I am his angel. We are all someone's angel. Or if we feel we're not, we can be....by simple acts of kindness, by giving to others. I was once told that the best way to cure depression was to volunteer....become an angel!

Moving Forward

I need my angels now more than ever. I know that they are always there, but sometimes I forget to check in. This could be a blog about everything that has come crashing down in my life, but I choose to have it be, instead, about the reinvention of myself and my life, about moving forward, and that is the operative word, FORWARD. It will be about finding gratitude amoungst the despair, magic within the chaos. And some days it will take alot of effort, but I will keep on trying. In the words of Marianne Williamson, each day I will ask, " show me where to go, show me what to do, show me what to say and to whom" and I will try to remember that there are angels above me, angels below me, angels to my left and angels to my right, ready to guide me if I am willing to listen.